And when you did stumble on, you were pretty much making up your own script by that point- That whooshing sound the audience heard? Mr. Leaving Walter Higgins to improvise O Neill dialogue - badly I might add - for what seemed like hours- It was already a long play, Sally. Neither could your fellow cast members as they waited. SPIRIT #2 I am the Ghost of Entrances Missed, Sally McFadden! I do not believe this. SPIRIT #2 Not like the time you left everyone in Ah, Wilderness standing on stage looking like complete morons. What? (Turns, looking) (A sweet maternal GHOST WOMAN glides on in an identical blue servant s dress)ħ Haunted 5. Okay, listen, I do not have time for this - I have to go on- (Another woman s GHOSTLY VOICE echoes over the stage) WOMAN S VOICE #2 (V.O.) You wouldn t want to be late, would you, Sally McFadden. (cont d) What difference does it make? The line means the same thing! Sure, the words aren t that important, it s only SHAKESPEARE. Like you re going to do tonight?Ħ Haunted 4. Even when I forgot, I got the gist of the lines. That s not fair! I was terrific in that show! When you weren t staring blankly at your castmates, sure. His uncle made a fortune in men s garters.what? Come Back Little Sheba. Why are you here? Bruce is going to come into a lot of money someday.

Oh, that s right! The script clearly called for the WORDS. I hummed it! Oh, well, good for you! Except let me think. (Singing loudly) Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion, It s good enough for me! (Trying to shut the ghost up) Will you please- A monkey with head trauma could spit that one out. And it was his fault you kept forgetting the words to Give Me That Old Time Religion?.I m not musical.

And two of the matinees- Stuart was the shopkeeper - he wouldn t give me the cue half the time-ĥ Haunted 3. Was that so hard? I got the line right most nights! Except opening night. Krebs debacle in Inherit the Wind? What? Who told you about that? The Good Lord guv us the heat, the Good Lord guv us the glands to sweat with. (Beat.) Did Hank put you up to this? Are you that girl from the corner of Sullivant with the sandwich boards? Would the sandwich board girl remember your Mrs. I am the ghost of lines that cannot speak themselves and have the misfortune to be reliant on your less than reliable mouth and brain. Every flubbed set-up, every blown punchline, every missed cue. Look, I m about to enter, I do not have time for- SPIRIT #1 I am the Ghost of Lines Dropped! What? I am the spirit of every word you ve never uttered, Sally McFadden.

Matilda? (Squinting in the dim light) SPIRIT #1 I am not Matilda either.idiot. SPIRIT #1 It is not Hank you should be concerned with. (Refocuses) Why dost thou cry, m lady? Why dost thou cry, m lady? WOMAN S VOICE (V.O.) (A ghostly whisper).are you surrrrre? (Hesitates again, looks around) Hank, I m about to go on, this is not the time for one of your stupid- (A GHOST WOMAN with attitude glides on in exactly the same blue dress Sally is wearing)Ĥ Haunted 2. (Sally hesitates.) WOMAN S VOICE (V.O.) (cont'd) The line is M lady, why dost thou cry? No, it s not. then-) (Quickly and quietly to herself) Why dost thou cry, m lady? Why dost thou cry, m lady? WOMAN S VOICE (V.O.) (Ghostly whisper) That s not the liiiine. Why dost thou cry, m lady? Why dost thou cry- (A ghostly voice echoes around her.) WOMAN S VOICE (V.O.) Salleeeee. (Quietly to herself) Why dost thou cry, m lady?. AT RISE: A woman costumed in a simple blue servant s dress stands expectantly backstage, glancing past the curtains to watch the action on-stage. PLACE: A Theatre.ģ SETTING: Backstage at a theatre. FOUR GHOSTS, Spirits Who Know Sally TIME: Now. 1 HAUNTED A 10 Minute Play By Eric Coble Eric Coble Jonathan Lomma William Morris Endeavor 1325 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY HAUNTED CHARACTERS: MCFADDEN, an actor trying to go on.

Funeral play script ten minute play